What Happened to Compassion?

Let's be realistic. Everyone judges. We are all guilty of looking at a person, hearing them speak and immediately making a quick decision about who they are. It's human nature. But what isn't human nature and what IS a choice, is how we act on those quick decisions and judgements of people we encounter.

Two things have gotten me riled up over the past few days. 1) Black Friday. It saddens and disgusts me more and more each year. 2) The man who live-tweeted his attack towards a woman on a plane on Thanksgiving day and America's reaction to the incident.

I'll start with Black Friday. I've never understood the concept.  Well, I take that back. I sort of get the concept. Stores have massive sales to try and make a ton of money in one day because Americans can't resist great deals and will flock to the major retailers to do all of their Christmas shopping at once. Seems harmless enough. Until it escalated to the ridiculous insanity that it is now. Major retailers began opening their doors the evening of Thanksgiving, instead of bright and early the next day. And for some reason, people loved that. They love the idea of cutting Thanksgiving with their friends and family short to go stand in line for hours with strangers and then fight over marked down items. A friend put it well: "The whole idea of Thanksgiving and being grateful for what you have is gone the minute the dishes clear the table." -Mike Haggett. Why are we, as a society, so focused on getting more and more material possessions that it comes at a cost to those around us? Whether it be the family we abandon to go stand in line at Walmart, the people we push and shove out of the way to get to the marked down product, or the employee who was trampled to death when customers rushed to be the first to grab a sale item, the price being paid is far too high. 

Compassion along with any semblance of  civility goes right out the window on Black Thursday Night/Friday. People turn into greedy, selfish and quick-tempered maniacs in the time it takes to say, "I had it first." All over something as meaningless as a television. Do they have remorse? Do they shove someone down, take the tv and go about their lives as though they didn't just commit a crime of abuse on a total stranger? How do they justify the madness?  How do the owners and managers of these stores sleep at night, knowing that their decision to open their doors earlier and earlier just encourages the complete disgrace that American consumerism has become? When did the value of a material possession become so much greater than the value of respect for a fellow human being? I could go on and on about this, but I will leave it with that last question. 

In the midst of all the Thanksgiving and shopping excitement, another drama was taking place. This one between two people flying on Thanksgiving day. If you have not read the story/tweets between Elan and Diane, here is the link. 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/29/annoying-airplane-passenger_n_4360667.html

Traveling during the holidays sucks. I get it. I've had my flight on Christmas Eve get canceled and the next flight out wasn't until the day after Christmas. It sucked, I was mad. Ask my family. Luckily for me, I had them to calm me down.  This woman was traveling alone and was clearly not having a good day. I will not dispute that she was acting very self-righteous, selfish and annoying. But let's be honest. We have ALL felt the way she did. We have all had frustrating travel experiences and we have all felt like we were the ones who were the MOST affected by it.  The difference is, I'm sure the majority of us would not have voiced our opinions quite the way she did. I am not trying to excuse her negative words towards the airline workers.  

Once the flight took off, the attack on her from Elan began. Yes, I am calling it an attack, because that is what it was. He sent Diane a note with a glass of wine saying, "Hopefully if you drink it, you won't be able to use your mouth to talk." Wow, that's harsh, and to a total stranger! It got worse. He brought her 2 bottles of vodka. She responded with a note to him, that I think was well deserved. His next note back to her was completely over the line and outrageously offensive.  He called her lazy, told her he hated her and to eat his dick. Really??? How could he possibly know enough about her to know that she is lazy? How could he have so much hatred toward someone he came into contact with for the first time a matter of hours ago? The complete lack of ANY kind of empathy here is overwhelming. I will always hold true to the statement that "you get more flies with honey than with vinegar." Perhaps, had he sent her a drink with a note that was not as condescending and rude, she would have taken a deep breath, drank the wine, calmed down and realized that she was being inconsiderate and maybe even apologized. The rest of the flight would have been peaceful and would not have ended with anyone's Thanksgiving being ruined. Elan NEVER stopped to think about what Diane might be going through that could have led her to be so upset and frustrated at a delayed flight. Again, I am not trying to excuse her words, just saying that what Elan did in his weirdly personal retaliation towards her was entirely unnecessary and over the line.

What is almost the worst part of this whole thing, is that people are hailing him as a hero. My, how our definition of a hero has changed... Dictionary.com definition:  Hero: a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

There was NOTHING noble about what Elan did.  It was disrespectful, inconsiderate and sickening. I will never understand why some people choose to bring other people down just to elevate themselves. Which is exactly what Elan did, with an encouraging audience of twitter followers. The way this story has hit media outlets, all in favor of what he did, is mind blowing to me. It seems the vast majority of people have never had any compassion shown to them during a bad time in life, or they might have had more empathy towards Diane. Instead, the bully wins again. Congrats, Elan. You've just shown the world that it is acceptable to harass a complete stranger on a plane, tell her to eat your dick and likely ruin her Thanksgiving. Heck, I wouldn't be surprised if she has some kind of mental trauma from the emotional abuse inflicted upon her during that flight. 

All that being said, the point of this blog post is to express my overall sadness and frustration that it appears compassion has gone by the wayside in our society. It still exists, but seems much harder to find nowadays. Instead, stories about fighting and deaths during Black Friday shopping and about arrogant, vulgar and inconsiderate jerks taking it upon themselves to ruin a woman's Thanksgiving have taken precedent. 

I am not perfect. I have been quick to judge and react harshly and I have regretted it every time. There is always more than meets the eye, with every person you meet. I guess the difference between myself and someone like Elan, is that I have been shown compassion and empathy. I have felt the kindness and understanding from those around me when I did not deserve it. So hopefully that makes me think twice when I come across situations in which it would be easy to jump to a quick verdict on someone. Hopefully it makes me see what I could possibly do to help them with whatever they are going through. We are all just trying to get from today to tomorrow.  If we could do that with just a little less animosity and a little more compassion towards those around us, the world would be a better place. 

Thank you for taking the time to read all the way through this. These are my opinions only and I am well aware that there will be people with very different opinions on the subject matters. Share them in a comment if you feel so inclined. 

Happy December!